The day that we finally
broke up is probably one of the most memorable milestones of us being US. Not
towards to forever but towards the end. Our end. I was broken, I was left with
heart shattered into a million pieces. Just like what I've said before, you're
holding a gun pointing right at me and I was just trusting you not to pull the
trigger, but you did. Whenever you got a chance, you always pulled the trigger.
The day I still tried to fix
everything, the day I just took my chances and bravely asked you if we can
still fix it, I knew about the possibility that it won't turn out the way I
wanted it to. I knew that you might give me an answer I wasn't hoping to hear
from you. —And,
that's what happened. I asked you if you still love me and you gave me an
answer that sent shivers down my spine. Those— were the most hurtful
words I've ever heard from someone who meant the world to me. I was really
caught off guard. I didn't see that one coming. I wasn't prepared at all.
NOT.AT.ALL.
We were doing great
or so I thought. That day I couldn't cry; I wished I could but when you
needed something the most, life will play its tricks on you and mess it all up.
I was hurt and relieved at the same time. I was relieved cuz i got an answer.
No what ifs, no questions left unanswered. And at least i know i
tried. That was the bravest thing I've done so far. You
made me feel how a downfall feels like. I told myself i'm gonna give
it a week to grieve, to mourn, to feel all the pain, go through the process and
embrace every moment. The good, the bad, the loneliest days, the erratic
emotions and whatever shit i'll feel and my gerd, that was a hellish process.
But i made it through.
I just wanted to tell
you that I’m okay now. I'm so okay now. I think of you once in a while. I
prayed for you every night after the break up, that may you find what
you're looking for in life. I wasn't mad, baby. I was never mad at you and I’ll
never be mad at you for whatever happened. Choosing yourself is never wrong. We
hurt people when we choose ourselves but it's never wrong.
You're one of my
favorite parts of my life and I thank you for introducing me to so many things
and teaching me of how I should live my life according to me. You
made me love my life and for that I am grateful. I want you to know that
I'll always be a friend and if people are laughing at your dreams, I want you
to remember that you must do things even when people don't see what you see in
them; and that someone believes in you. I'll support your dreams no matter how crazy
and twisted they get, baby, cuz I believe in you. I'll always be here for you
to give you a little push and hand you a cig when life's being a bitch and you
want to pause.. I'll be the best second hand smoker that you've ever known. You
can count on me on that cuz that's what friends do..
Lastly, you're once my
silver lining, you made me believe that I AM WORTH SOMETHING. Being with you
was one helluva roller coaster ride and I can't picture anybody riding it with.
We often forget to thank each other for the wonderful beginning cuz we fucked
up the ending. But right now, I want to thank you for it. For the wonderful
beginning we've had. Please don't forget our adventures. The few amazing
memories we've created. Set them aside somewhere, but don't forget them. If I
can go back to where we started, I will. I'll re-learn this lesson all over
again.
You are and forever will
be my favorite right kind of wrong, baby. And this is my final act of love..
good luck!! :) :)
