To The Guy Who’s Worth a Second Shot

My life was fine back then. His was okay, as well. We have our own lives, family, set of friends and career. Living without each other was just like any other ordinary days of our lives before we meet. And then we met.

Everything seems practically the same. We still get on with our normal daily lives, only this time lighter and happier. We were playing it cool at first. No commitment, no strings attached; and definitely, no demands whatsoever. I couldn’t see any better setup than what we have. We can breathe. We were just two people happy hanging out together. That’s it.

But then, time flies so fast. You can't expect everything to be the same as it was in the beginning. Things were a little bit different. This time we have memories. We've traveled together. We had rows of fights and drama. To put it simply, we got to know each other more. The relationship became more meaningful than being just friends who enjoy each other’s company. The connections became deeper. Everything’s gotten more personal, which wasn’t really a bad thing. And after a long time, once again, I see myself falling; even so, I don’t want to hinder the fall.

It was really great but really scary all at the same time. I know I wasn't really ready to put things up a notch higher, at least, not yet. I refused to be tied regardless of how many times he had asked. But I started having demands. I can’t understand myself either. I required him more effort that I knew he would gladly give. I just found it a little short, every time. It was like I was looking for reasons to break what we have. I know I’m complicated. I wanted to blame it all to my past relationship just to have something to blame it on to. That time, I became a lot unsure. Everything was a blur. I don’t really know what happened. I just know I was so fucking scared. And then just like that, I triggered a split. The sad part was, he agreed. And so, we did.

Breaking his heart broke mine twice as bad. So, I made this poem for that guy, who I created memories with, worthy of a second chance.

This poem was intended to be a song originally, but I didn’t have the time or the talent. Here's how it goes:

"You said you’ve never been in love,
Never gotten yourself so high above
But every time you look into my eyes,
They always tell me otherwise.

So, I took the challenge and tried,
Willing to gamble everything like mad.
But Mr. Cupid seemed drunk and fired;
Oh my, left me bleeding really bad.

I wish it was a different story
What do you think of flowers and poetry?
Or perhaps, kisses and cuddles,
Instead of never-ending riddles and puzzles?

It was so bizarre and eccentric,
No like movie clichés or fairy tale
Funny, how it gives me chivers of euphoric
We tried so hard, how can we fail?

I wish we had a different story;
How do you like your picture breathing for me?
Be that girl of your dreams and fantasy.
To make you always hold on to me.

I want to know why it ended this way,
Why it even ended anyway?
I wish to go back and undo the crime
At least, we get to meet in this lifetime.

No matter how our journey went through,
I just couldn’t blame it all to you.
Given a chance to do it again,
I wouldn’t ever say ‘No’ to pretend.

If I had the chance to do it again,
And risk my heart to break beyond repair.
I can say no to all the rest,
But with you, I’m willing to say, YES... (again)